Category: Shtick

Following my presentation of lemon succade in court at Barleycorn, I knew I would have to find a different type of citrus for our next encounter.

A search online turned up a number of vendors with round pillows or seat cushions that were screen-printed to look like giant slices of fruit, and indeed several of the offerings included lemon designs.

Having procured two such cushions, I ferried them to Bear’s Inn this weekend inside a large sack, and stashed them out of the way until our provincial court was almost finished. When I removed the herald’s tabard and begged the vicereines’ indulgence for a moment of personal business, they quickly guessed what was up, and called for the baronesses of An Dubhaigeainn to join them in court as witnesses.

Continue reading A Pair of Plump Lemons

After the amusement of The Great Yak Quest (2019–2022), nothing could have pleased me more than to be assigned a new quest just one year later — an opportunity for shtick which I look forward to milking for as long as possible.

As a result of a misunderstanding following some perfectly innocent asset-pricing research — asking representatives of a neighboring barony how much they would be willing to pay for one of the province’s fine cantons — I was called before their Excellencies of Østgarðr in their Pennsic Court and tasked with bringing them an exceptional citrus.

For presentation at Barleycorn, I figured I would offer them a succade, or candied lemon peel. This method of preserving the intense flavors of citrus fruit beyond its natural season appears to have developed in Asia, and was transmitted from the Middle East to the Mediterranean in the fifteenth century or so, reaching northern Europe by the sixteenth. As a result, this seemed to be an appropriate gift for the vicereines, who are Renaisance-era Florentines.

Continue reading A Lemon for the Vicereines

At Pennsic 49, as the Viceregents of Østgarðr approached the end of their term in office, we brought to a close a long-running bit of court schtick: the Quest for the Viceroy’s Yaks.

Here are the words I wrote for my presentation in provincial court.

Three years ago, you asked for my help in finding a number of yaks that had gone astray. Thankfully, many members of the Province stepped up to assist me, and as time passed, a large number of yaks have found their way back to you — so many yaks. 

Continue reading The End of a Quest