The End of a Quest

At Pennsic 49, as the Viceregents of Østgarðr approached the end of their term in office, we brought to a close a long-running bit of court schtick: the Quest for the Viceroy’s Yaks.

Here are the words I wrote for my presentation in provincial court.

Three years ago, you asked for my help in finding a number of yaks that had gone astray. Thankfully, many members of the Province stepped up to assist me, and as time passed, a large number of yaks have found their way back to you — so many yaks.

As you prepare to relinquish the heavy chains of state, I wanted to put your mind at ease that you could now rest, and that you wouldn’t be constantly pursued by citizens delivering additional yaks every time you turned around, eating you out of house and home, and taking up inordinate space in your car home from every event.

And so today I bring you good news: I have recently received word that all of the remaining yaks that wandered away back in 2019 have safely made it back to their homeland in the Himalayas, where they are happy and comfortable and able to find the types of nourishment and surroundings to which they are accustomed.

To ensure that they are well-cared-for, I have made a donation to The Kamzang Fund, which will deliver it to the nomadic herdsmen of the Himalayas who travel with these flocks to their seasonal pastures.

I hope that you feel I have satisfactorily discharged the obligation you set me that winter’s day in Brokenbridge, and that your current inventory of yaks will prove sufficient to sustain yourself and your lady in the years ahead.

Thank you to all of the members of the provincial populace who helped with this quest over the last few years!

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